Tag Archives: behaviour

Dropping the Ego

Now is the moment… and dropping that overwhelming Ego.

What brings me to write this comes from two books

A NEW EARTH by Erkhart Tolle and

YOU ARE A BADASS how to stop doubting your greatness by Jen Sicaro

Both very much sum up our current situation in the world and that by finding our inner ‘being’ ie Stillness

This means dishing the hundred and one thoughts that the ego throws at us every day. Which only lead to hardship and unhappiness also outer happiness ie work, jobs, money are all cycles good and bad times loosing job or huge emotional upheaval after a bad relationship.

Can in many ways be a wake up call to finding true self but they are ever changing only through inner stillness being able to step back without emotion.

Being able to be amazed at the wonder of the body we currently inhabit through simple breathing exercises and finding ourselves living completely in the present without doubt or reliving past hardships or our past period.

That we can find harmony in ourselves in a way never found before and that our outer selves can then to be found with added depth. As to completely let go of the ego no matter how far down the journey you are is a liberating awakening of true wisdom and love.

As it allows growth concentration where once thoughts or that inner voice filled you with doubt and negativity. Positive vibes and as Tolle puts it enthusiasm and belief without ego centric power over taking this new knowledge.

Makes each and every person more awakened to how we can change this world for the better.

Jen Sicaro on the other hand brings in equal measure to love ourselves first and foremost that the universe is indeed plentiful. That it is our relationship and attitude towards life, relationships and money which keep many, many people forever recycling the same outcome and living our whole life on autopilot.

If we can combine actually loving ourselves to become butterflies and free spirits that we are all part of god, we are connected as one and to find our higher self to tune into what yoga/reiki itself opens us to.

The soul and how finely it touches our physical body and the environment around us, that it’s our emotions which rule the ego and to let go off this to connect to the soul. Concentrate on the here and now along with a healthy diet, being out in nature, spiritual pursuits and what feeds the soul not the ego.

We may indeed be able to make this a better world for us and the generations to come.

When not to say anything

When not to say anything….

Blimey if you anything like me when you know the wise thing is just to let it be you somehow can’t let it go!!!

Mindfulness is sometimes easier said than done.

More often than not people don’t like pure honesty even if it is right and I guess I must fall into that category take things to heart all the time, think the world and everyone I know is out to get me….

Or as happens most often read something and take it totally the wrong way and make huge mountains out of what is only a blip!!!! And then tell someone exactly how feel.

Plus worse keep repeating history and make even more idiot of yourself than normal if that’s possible and over think!!!!

Plus it’s a crushing feeling when heart seems to over rule head and instead of just letting it pass emotions get in way and you do react to a situation.

Having done yoga and trying to find my own inner guru tending to over react to things which don’t involve me, wont matter in ten years time when it’s the here and now the present which really does matter.

– Not what could be or reliving a past which can’t be changed!!! Or reacting to something you don’t know the outcome off.

The later making over thinking, paranoid imagination and to much time on hands where everything you think possible could go wrong does. As it’s really own emotional black mail to trip up, sabotage self and end up on constant cycle of unable to get out a situation or be in constant state of lack.

This is not what anyone wants even though it’s a trail many end up in myself included whether over sensitive or whatever.

Stepping back and letting it go is actually far easier and lifts whole burden of what you think might happen.

Reading above I know I jump in more often than not drawing wrong conclusion and punishing self for nothing. I not sure why this is such a part of human nature to make our opinion heard or that our weaknesses become more apparent – the whole ego thing!

Maybe it’s why the rise of eastern guru magic and yoga and so forth is more prominent now than ever – learning to let go is not easy as ego will always in some form be there but it is a necessary if we have to change and grow and learn from our past….

Not sure if any above relevant to anyone else I do suffer from depression and coming into autumn/fall weather my mood has went way down and feeling stuck in a situation where whatever seem to do is only making it worse not better or over trying being to eager to please.

Maybe due to making one situation – so important I have totally let my emotions rule everything and ruin the opportunity there!! As said self sabotage is about as destructive as anything and being own worse enemy.

Ok I stop and hopefully there is something in above – that letting be and seeing what happens instead of pushing for what want and remaining silent even when you feel like otherwise is masterful!!! To simply not say anything instead!! Amen to that and yes it’s a fools end to react and one that those of wisdom and experience don’t need told!!!!

Over and out Jen xxx

Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse

There is no words, it’s actually worse nine months on than at time left him. Probably because did not know was getting abused till left him it also was a huge cost to self, confidence, work, finances and emotional along with friendship break downs outwith a Counciller only those that been through same experience know the real trauma.

Something that is still there I only was in relationship a year and stayed nine months with him it went from bliss to could not swallow properly, could not go to yoga, swimming or anything as it cost to much and right at end to what wore – I also had become his emotional outage and yes I knew he had a not good childhood something I learned from elsewhere but there was never any excuse for using someone you are in a relationship with.

To take it out on there was no middle ground, if I did not agree to his way he ran out on me or lost his temper at me for speaking up – in end I was frightened to talk be seen in public felt needed his permission for everything and he then turned around and said I not making your decisions or controlling you – nine months on yes my whole life was being dictated and controlled for nothing more than money. Plus genuine fear could see it was getting closer and closer to violence and the rage more often I was continually walking on egg shells and all said or done was wrong!!! Even speaking to friends on messenger was grassing him up even though I was just talking to them as friends.

Plus was his slave which ended up not being a joke as I was and called thick 40 to 50 times a day at end

Many suffer at these people hands yet the authorities, police still are only now beginning to act I also want to phone people who would be able to tell me what to do. As realise I should have reported him to police and still can yet I know need to move on stop letting outside forces those that still believe him get on with it!!! They are putting themselves at risk and I can do nothing I was only person to see his behaviour behind closed doors and it was very different from the person he made himself out to be in public.

The horror, trauma, how low he would sink to get money ie marry then dump me after getting a house along with fact he not work yet all my wage went for things for him if wanted to buy for self again told could not afford it

Anyone else experienced this???? Sort of behaviour from someone who meant to love you and more must be done to help people go through something that is like living with the devil himself!!! And that can’t trust anyone afterwards that it still remains in the background though less with each passing day.